Our boys are 8 and 5. We don't do the allowance thing. Instead we went to instill in them early that they are rewarded for doing what they should do already.
Let me try to clarify this concept a bit. Instead of expecting to be rewarded with a new toy or money each week, they know we expect them to do well in school and help around the house and be kind, (basically be a good all around person).
Don't get me wrong, they get rewarded, sort of. We tell them they earn tablet time or video game time by doing chores. They earn picking the Friday night family movie or get to cook dinner (yes, my kids get AMPED over cooking!!
By the same token they can also lose those treasured treats.
Here is a picture of the incentive chart we have been using for a few months. Let me tell you, this sucker WORKS! They do not want to have their clip moved. If by chance that clip does move, its the first thing they check on the next day!!
Here is our daily chores chart. Logan is at school most of the day, so he doesn't have too much to do once he comes home. He knows his biggest and most important job is his schoolwork. They are both expected to do their chores and move their clips before asking for screen time.
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| This is Liam's |
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| This is Logan's |
The way I look at the chores, we are raising independent boys.
Our ultimate job as parents is to provide our kiddos with the ability to take care of themselves.
Hopefully, it will also make them amazing husbands and dads too!!
On Saturdays the boys have two additional chores. We have a cup that they pull out two tokens which
determine the days fate. Some days you luck out and get a relax token. Others, not so much, you
might get a pick an extra job token. I color coded them to help Liam know where he will be working. The bathroom is blue, playroom is pink, the family room is yellow and the kitchen is green. The
orange ones are the "golden" tokens because they give you control. With a "golden" token you might get to relax, put one back or trade. There is one bad "golden" token, "pick extra" which is never good!! This has also worked out pretty well. Logan gets excited to see what his jobs will be, but he might be even more excited to see what Liam has to do! The first week, Logan had to vacuum. I thought that was pretty easy. He was excited, you see I NEVER let anyone handle my vacuum. I've become protective ever since Connor dropped my beloved Dyson down the stairs. It was a bad day. So, Logan turns it on and walks the vacuum from one side of the family room to the other in one motion. I was laughing inside and realized what a learning experience this would become. I showed him how to do it, I would have thought he'd known, I mean, he sees me vacuum ALL THE TIME!
Consistency is Key!!
I will admit, there are days that I don't harp on the charts, but I always pay in the end. The following day, those little turkeys always act as though they have amnesia! We have to start all over again retraining. I have to say, "did you check your chart?" which is always followed by,"I didn't do it yesterday"... We JUST dealt with this last week. Logan had been sick in bed with a fever. OF COURSE he didn't do his chores. But he certainly put up a fight the following day. "Why do I have to clean the table? I didn't do it yesterday!" For some reason, my immediate reaction to a ridiculous statement from anyone, not just my kids, is to shake my head a bit. It is completely involuntary, mind you. Its a sort of fight or flight type of uncontrolled reaction. As though my body is trying to rattle the words that just entered my brain out. Or perhaps the rattling will somehow give the nonsense clarity. But alas, no it never seems to help. SO then I had to respond to this craziness with," you were sick in bed yesterday, remember?" To which he says," Oh yeah". To which my head rattles again....
Do you have a chore system in place that works? I would LOVE to hear about it!! I constantly have to keep things fresh and fun around here.
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