Magic of the Beach

The beach is a magical place. 

People go to the beach for vacation. Entire cities are built around the commerce of tourist. There is something about the beach that is peaceful and relaxing.

Whether you are playing or laying, being at the beach always creates memories.

The anticipation of going to the beach brings thoughts of sand castles and wave jumping. 

There is so much fun to be had during a day at the beach. Searching for little critters scurrying across the sand.  Creating tiny homes in the sand for them to live. Begging to take them home only to have them die in the car on the way.

After leaving the beach, the beach stays with you. The sound of the waves crashing and the people laughing. The sand in your hair and in other places. Most of all the memories with family and friends of time spent at the beach are some of the best memories of all.




Beach

Continue reading Magic of the Beach

Each baby brings a different type of HOPE

I have been overwhelmed with love, joy and HOPE after the birth of each of my babies. 

Everyone has those feelings, of course. But the timing and way each one changed our world also brought a different type of HOPE to our eyes.

1999 Connor Patrick HaddiganSos

Connor was our first, we weren't young or newly married. So bringing our first baby into the world should not have been completely overwhelming. The enormous overwhelming love after seeing your first baby for the first time is so far beyond words. The HOPEs and dreams we had for him started months before he was born. As he developed his own personality and his own HOPEs, we soon realized that our hopes could only be for his happiness and that became enough.

2007 Logan Edward Haddigan                                                         2007 Riley William Haddigan

When Logan and Riley came into our lives HOPE was kind of the only thing we had. When your babies are born 3 months early after having fetal surgery at 18 weeks and being on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy, what else is there?  These two helpless tiny babies showed us just how precious life is and that each day is a gift. We had to leave them everyday in the care of other people, we had to HOPE that they would be okay. When Riley died  days later, our HOPE might have died with him. We were beaten, broken, we were feeling hopeless. Until, two days later, Logan had lifesaving heart surgery. We were again HOPEful. HOPEful for his survival, his future and strength.

After Riley's death, we were so beaten. We had Logan and we loved him so much. We were so thankful that he was strong and healthy and alive. But we were all so devastated by Riley's death that it became hard to really breathe. 

2011 Liam Joseph Haddigan

With Liam's birth HOPE was alive! Liam brought all of us the chance to believe in happiness again. Liam made us HOPEful for the future. Let us believe that everything would be okay and that we would be happy.

Hope is a crazy thing.

Without HOPE I'm not sure where I'd be.

Today's daily post prompt Hope

Continue reading Each baby brings a different type of HOPE

Abandoned

When I hear the word abandoned I immediately think of all of the strays.

I have always been drawn to the underdog, no pun intended. When I was in elementary school, a nasty smelly scrawny dog who had clearly recently mothered a litter followed me home.  She was not far from dying. She sat in our yard, she needed me. For some reason, my parents let me keep her. I'm still to this day not sure why. After all, I'd probably stumbled on dozens of strays and certainly I must have begged for each one. So why this one?

Once cleaned up, she still stunk, she was gross. She needed a lot of vet care. But for some reason, my parents let me keep her.

I named her Sandy which was quite clever what with her sandy colored fur and all. I was so creative, don't you think?

Sandy was very special to me. I was special to Sandy. She would growl and lunge at anyone that came near my room, unless they were escorted by me. Once, my grandfather walked into my room ahead of me. She went after him! I don't think she actually bit him, but she let him know that he was not permitted to cross that threshold alone.

I would often walk to my grandparents house, it was just down the street. If she was in the backyard, she would climb the fence to be with me. It was a 5 foot fence, she couldn't jump it, so she climbed. She adored me. I adored her.

On October 30th 1988 a day I will never forget. My mom and I were walking to my grandmothers. I heard the sound of Sandy's nails on the street. She was racing to me as she had so many times before. I turned to call her over to the sidewalk just in time to see a huge Chevy Suburban run her over. I can still hear her crying. I screamed. My mother rushed me into the house. My dad ran out and scooped her up.

The dog that had become my best friend, my protector had been killed.

My heart was broken. Sometimes its hard to remember the good times when the bad times hurt so deeply.

I still have a soft spot for strays and animals in general. No

one should ever be abandoned.

Today's daily prompt = ABANDONED


Abandoned

Continue reading Abandoned

The Power of Music

There is something magical about music. Music has the ability to transport you back 30 years and put in a moment that you might have otherwise forgotten about.

I recently heard the song "I can't drive 55".  In an instant, I was eleven years old and in my mom's car as she was FLYING down the street. This as a 35 MPH road and my mom was BARRELING down  at 55MPH. It was as though she was in a moment of her own. She sang at the top of her voice, because of course the radio was turned ALL THE WAY UP. This moment was burned somewhere for some reason into my long term memory. Maybe I was frightened for my life. Maybe I was mortified, I was a preteen after all. Whatever the reason, I'm so glad it was! 

I have tons of memories from my childhood that revolve around music. 

I was lucky enough to have parents with great taste in music. A typical Saturday consisted of my mother cleaning and watering plants while dancing with the stereo blasting the Beatles or Pink Floyd. These were the days when the bigger the speaker the better the experience. The wood floors vibrated. It was good stuff!

Memories revolving around music seem to be so happy. 

I remember laying on the floor of my grandparents house with my grandfather. They had a floor model stereo. It had a small red power light indicator on the front at the floor. I remember my grandfather 
putting his finger over that light. Watching his finger glow, I was amazed.

My husband and I drove 12 hours to Florida for a visit. We were in our 20s with no kids and thought nothing of heading out of town for a short visit. The return drive home just a couple of days later was painful. We were both exhausted. We resorted to listening to Kool and the Gang to stay awake. To this day, every time I hear "Celebration" I smile thinking of that road trip.

Music is incredibly powerful. 

I need to play more music. Maybe this Mother's Day weekend, I'll have my mom dance around and clean my house. My kids' reactions will be priceless, as will the memory.

The prompt for today from The Daily Post on WordPress is “music.”
Music

Continue reading The Power of Music

Scars

I have a few visible scars from being a reckless tomboy. I mean you can only swing your tire swing off of the top of the doghouse into the house so many times without enduring a few scrapes.

The majority of my scars are internal. My scars have changed me deeply.

Although most people can't see my scars, the people who know me best can certainly see them.

• My distant stare while I'm reenacting a moment from the past - before my scars.
• The way I almost always avoid twins.
• The way I tense up whenever I hear an ambulance

My scars will never heal. 

There are others with scars similar to mine. Those that share the same heartbreak of loosing a child. We all find a way to put one foot in front of the other, to put on a happy face so that others don't feel awkward. 

I wish that the only scars I had were externally. Life would be quite different.

Scars

Scars

Continue reading Scars